I Have a Friend

I have a friend who loves a woman
which may seem strange to some because
my friend is also a woman
but to me it only seems beautiful
it seems right
Because the woman she loves  loves her too
My friend has never said to me,
"I love this woman."
and they've never said,
"I love you."
in front of me          but I know
It's plain to see when they're together
that something bigger than the both of them
exists between these two
I can't help but feel warm, hopeful when I see that
It makes me want to dance.

because I see so many women who
don't really love the men they love
I'm not sure they even like them, actually
I do see men and women in love - happy couples are out there
They're just few and endangered    and I'm not sure what by
It's not deforestation or pollution that makes them scarce
It think, perhaps, it's the pace at which we push our lives
marriage is something that just happens
   -after college
   -after high-school
   -hopefully before kids
   -usually when people are too young to know themselves well enough to know their partner
                                        too young to ask the questions that will plague them in 10 years
Like:
-is he right for me?
-might there have been someone more suited to me?
-am I happy?
Questions that become meaningless   or destructive
between breakfast dishes and bag-lunches
between pig-tails and little league
where moms sit in the stands in a daze
wondering exactly how all their days
added up to this

I have a friend who likes men
which may seem strange to some
because my friend is a man
but to me it seems good, it seems right
because I saw the Hell he had to wade through
to admit (even to himself) what love looked like
inside him
He broke through barriers I couldn't have cracked,
toppled them to get to himself
and now he shines like a star
healthier, happier, more whole than I'd known he could be
His deepest desire (like all of our deepest desires)
is to find the right one
that partner, the companion that's right for him
I know this will happen, he'll find his one
because my friend is filled -all the way- with love
and on that day, I'll dance.



(Entry for One Shot Wednesday)

November 2, 2010

Entry for One Shot Wednesday

I voted today
in the linoleum yellow underbelly of
Emmanuel Lutheran
the place that plays Kumbaya to me
on great big bells while I sit by the river

was it only strange to me
 to be voting in a church?
maybe more so to people
who still like our church and state separate

I stood in line for my ballot
taking in the colorful Alleluia banners
the children had made
I wondered what they celebrated,
what they praised and gave thanks for as they made them

driving to the polls I was behind a semi on the freeway
on the back a sign with an American flag told me about
our country not giving aid or comfort to "the enemy"
Shock settled in    anger stirred
as if all the people - the citizens - of Afghanistan and Iraq
are our enemies     personally
they're as helpless to their governments
as we are to ours
in the dust next to the sign
someone had written the name Jesus
He would be hurt, I think, to see this
maybe even ashamed    or that's just how I felt
I don't think Jesus believed in enemies
I don't either

but waiting for that line we've all felt so divided
I've never felt us so polarized before
it scares me
I feel obligated to vote only D
because the things the R's say -
they really scare me
but I wish I could vote G or I
without feeling it a loss

letters
behind collapsible plastic privacy
a black felt marker with
No. 2 oval holes
I break out my cheat-sheet
(yep, I wrote it down. just to be sure)
fill in all the right spaces and
a machine - secretly - sucks it away from me
I got a sticker  (my favorite part)
I don't know if I've changed anything
or how much of a difference one can make this way
I'm not sure I trust the whole thing
much more than McDonald's Monopoly
but, I suppose, Alleluia
that I have a right to try.

In Numb

I feel so disconnected lately
I try to have a focused thought
and all I get is dial tone
when most of the time it's like hearing
six conversations bleeding through
but none of them make much sense
all overlapping and unfinished
and above it all a nasal monotone intones:

"You are now operating in survival mode."

So I move through the day
the same as the one before
doing all the 'have to's
so it seems just like living
only without really touching anything
and the voice continues:

"You are now operating in survival mode."

Then I'm angry at that voice
I want to defy her
so I shake myself with music,
laughter, conversation, books
I sing really loudly
when a feeling does come through
because I find they've become too big for me to hold
I shake myself to try to snap me out of it
but I'm still out of it
so I do what I can to comfort me
but in the background:

"You are operating in survival mode."

So I move again to the music,
the laughing, the talking, the words
I see how these things bring
each a tiny reprieve
and as the voice goes on and on
I live between breaths

Titleless

nothing ever touches anything else

not really

but right now

our electrons are

powerless

to repel one another

because you've invaded

you have entered

you've been invited into

the space that my body occupies

i sigh

i smile

physics shrugs

A Delving Poem

of all the voices of me, all the trains: inner-critic, inner-child, inner-wild-woman, inner-any-human-ness...
of all the moods, personalities that arise,
is there one that is most me,
most true to my authentic being?
or is it only in the fleeting moments when
for a breath
something outside of these
bears witness to them
there is the collective sigh
i am none of these

Yesterday

Excuse me but have you seen
laying around anywhere
I'm looking for yesterday
and I can't seem to find it
but I just had it so it can't be far

I thought of looking for last summer
but realized I didn't even know where to start
I glanced around for last week but
yesterday

Yesterday I had one of those moments where
for a time, everything feels perfect
and I wondered, since I just had it
yesterday
shouldn't it still be here somewhere?

Relay for Life

Originally posted on What I'm Thinking Today July 5, 2010

I love my town! I recently moved to Ypsilanti MI and will write more about my great city in the future. I live near a park where a lot of local events are held so we get to listen to the music all summer. A few weeks ago, the Relay for Life came to the park. I love this event! If your life hasn't been touched by cancer in some way, you're very fortunate. This is a beautiful fund-raiser that is very community-based. There was such great music and such a wonderful energy in the park that day! I watched them into the night, battling fatigue and mosquitoes, walking still when I went to sleep. I was very moved and went inside and wrote this poem:



Just Before Midnight


Amid the sound of a soulful night bird
and the scent of a damp, happy willow
across the sound of the Huron gliding by
I watch

On a path encircling the park
surrounded by candles
they walk

They walk for their family,
their friends, themselves
for memory and the chance of anticipation,
for dreams cut short and those made possible

The path beneath their feet,
on any other day like any other path
is, for this time, a sacred space of healing and unity
it's a circle of community
of shared grief and triumph
of support and understanding
of true empathy

This walk is for warriors
these are people who live life up-close
and with eyes wide open
because they know how fleeting a gift this is
and how graciously given

These are warriors of grace and vulnerability
who know what it means to love ferociously
the strength that takes, and that which it gives
They have come here through moments
of intense contemplation, through new
rearranged priorities, with changed
worldviews, and open hearts

They bring colorful tents and coolers
are served midnight pizza
have music to move them along
but my favorite is the laughter-
that audible evidence of joy
shared one to another

These warriors come here as
humanity at its best
they come to do for others
to raise awareness and give voice to the silent
to celebrate life, having learned what that really means

They come with faith in themselves
and in one another
because they know they can make a difference
and they do.

*Added 6/16/10- If you know anyone who takes part in the Relay for Life, please feel free to copy this poem and share it with them. It's a small thank you from me to everyone who participates in this great event.

Sovereign

Originally posted on What I'm Thinking Today August 4, 2010

I wrote this recently. I was reading about the origins of the Goddess and how she was considered Sovereign. It inspired me to write in a style (acrostic) I haven't tried since I was a kid. Hope you like it!


Sovereign

She walks out freshly into her
own world, that of her making
virtuously attuned to its every breath
ever entwined, ever open
receptive to the ebb and flow of
each cycle as it passes
intuitively present with every moment
giving graciously all the gifts of herself
never failing to abide by her heart

Rough Draft of an Ypsi poem

I wrote this poem at the laundry mat yesterday and it may not be done but I want to share.

At the Washtenaw Coin Laundry

I love this town and all its colors
so many shades of black and brown and tan
on skins and eyes and hair and hands
accents that come from     I know not where
languages lilting lyrical lullabies
myriad mantras
so many gods    all one
All One
cultures not clashing
not shocking me
only calling to my eyes and ears
with whispers of lands I'll never see
secrets of souls
swishes of fabric and whiffs of oil
spices speak sustenance
words awaken wonder
music exciting in mixed-up modes
drifts from windows where
kitchens sit with laden bread
always a table to be filled with old places
a landscape of different
aromas  abundant      call back in time
ancestral  answers     gifting with grace
a smile touching eyes
gives me welcome without words
human-ness beyond language
beyond any perception
of not-like-me

The Other Blog

Since I set this blog up just for poetry and won't be posting in it very often I decided to put up a link to my other blog where I try to post often.  Thanks for visiting!

http://awitchtrying.blogspot.com/

July 26, 2010

This was my first time reading at a poetry reading and, really, my first time sharing my work publicly.  It was great fun and I hope to do it again sometime this winter. This is what I read:

Intrinsic

All my poetry

is Goddess poetry

everything I write is

witchy

cause that's how I move

there is no separate

for me from Her

walking hand in 

wispy voice

that curls deep inside

with a purr and sigh of knowing

that all is well

that all is right with what is

there She is settled in my soul

like a tiny reflection

Objects may be closer than they appear

of the beginning of time

swirling with all I've ever known

all that's been known

and swollen with the unknowable

pulsing with the tide of
so much

life

energy

breath

air

blood

water

movement

earth

fire

of every star

of so many distant 

and unfamiliar

yet brothers

sisters to what I see

but being so much

still soft   She is

curled, lying there 

like and infant

after an millennial nap

blinking in comfort

ready to stretch

and try her voice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hostage Situation

Why am I so damn raw
exposed nerves crackle
like the backs of my eyeballs
floating on the surface
of the thought I just had
or the song I'm listening to
why does everything want 
out        right  now
without even identifying itself
as it squeezes through my lids
why do I feel as if I'm
holding           my heart          hostage
and what am I waiting for
what are my demands
do I have any plans
if I get away with this
hostage             situation
I'm no good at negotiation
I'll just wait down at the station
till the whole thing is resolved

leave it up to someone else
to see my problem solved
but the problem is there's still that part
my pumping, bleeding, aching heart
it seems wrong to just leave her there
saunter off without a care
but how much am I willing to give
without the promise that I will live
and how much is really at stake
if the battle's more than I can take
which pieces will I walk away with if I loose
is it a craps shoot, or can I pick   and choose
are there things in my heart I can't do without
creativity, empathy, my smile, my pout
looks like I have to suck it up
and work this thing out
but don't I believe in war so     is there another way
we could coax my heart and and humor her,
convince her to come away
from the me who wants to harm her
we should probably disarm her
she's the one who started all this
standing there raging with balled-up fists
I just need to convince her to step back into me
put down the heart, and just let it be

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Molehills from Mountains

You are sex walking

You are fuck      on legs

You are naught but tongue
and hands and heat
You're skin, hair,sweat,
my heart's pounding beat

You're there to consume me
to coax those low sounds
out of my deep
to test and push bounds

to find the little spaces,
the far, far withins
to summon the crawlies
and ripple my skin

You are sight and scent
of sex unleashed
energy called forth
from North, West, South and East

You're times with fingers splayed
toes curled and panting
times with whimpers like a puppy
trying to make it to the landing

You're nothing more than the places
where my skin touches yours
and the surfaces we rest upon
beds, dressers, walls, and doors

You're running down my leg
you're that wet spot on the bed
the hum between my legs tomorrow
you're candy for my head

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Curves and Lines

      My body is the Goddess's 

      not a single curve out of place

      'cause I can see my form in nature

      all the beautiful round shapes to trace

But cities are made by men

you can see it in their design

cold and hard, constructed

all straight lines and street signs

      We do our best to invade them

      with bushes, trees, and vines

      but they always feel constricted

      to a pretty little box in time

Meanwhile outside the cities' borders

the ongoing ugly rat-race

is mowing down curves and forests

marching on leaving nary a trace

      Still, no matter how many lines they draw

      with their rulers to tell them how big

      when it's time to lay the foundation

      look where they have to dig

Into the sacred skin of our Mother

on the altar of our birth

source of all the life we know

the ever spinning, round, round Earth. 

                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clamor

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen and 

Welcome to the Church of What the Fuck is Going On?

There are so many directions to place blame

Patriarchy. Corporate Greed. The MEDIA. Technology. Bad Government.  Complacent Society.  

we didn't know any better

there were so many flashing lights

and signs and voices

"Look right this way!"

and so many moving parts

and radio waves

and digital ate analog like the way

video tried to kill the radio star

multinational multimedia channel channel channel shop! on line on T.V. by phone

for non stick hi-tech hi-def plastic remote control motion sensor

sensor sensory

sensory input

input

in put

what are we putting in?

is this stuff filling you up?

I'm stuffed! 

I can't take any more of this

junk-food for the brain

high-fructose information

this saccharine distraction

layer after sticky layer

in conveniently disposable packaging

or beamed straight into your brain

only 49.95 a month

it's every new sensation

competing with so many 15 minutes

crammed between increasingly inane human antics

followed by what they call the "news"

this veil they hang meant to convince me

that this is all there is, or ever could be

constant daily rhythm of 

get up go to work go home eat zone out go to bed

no wonder we're numb

they're pick-pocketing our freedoms

insisting it's for our own good

rewriting history to take away truth

back room deals and 

out-right theft

tarnished elections and

toxic incorporated

paparazzi exposing personal privacies

while government corruption goes untold

It's all such a spectacle, disparate but sparkly

disorienting reminding me of the Land of Oz

and we could all use a little more courage,

a little more heart, a clear mind to think

and the knowledge that our homes are our homes

but without those we keep moving,

perpetuation the system we seem to be stuck in

keeping heads down, arms and legs inside the vehicle

with lemming-like devotion

to our own degradation

And when we walk out of step,

when we stop and look around

when we start to think on our own

we're labeled disloyal, unpatriotic, crazy

If we start to raise some eyebrows, 

that voice always comes along

to remind us The Show must go on

and to take our seats and please,

pay no mind to that man behind the curtain.